This Christmas

It’s hot, sunny, dry, dusty, windy, cold morning, dry lip, white and scaly skin December again. The mornings this time are not so cold though. Even though I would like to describe it as a fake harmattan season, I cannot deny that the sun has taken its toll on my skin and I am one or two tones darker, I am also a bit thinner from the stress of work.

It is however good to know that it’s the season to be merry. The holidays are here, the Christmas lights are in every street, trees in every house, red and white costumes and caps. While some people understand the real reason for the season, others just see it as a time to wear fine dresses, visit family and friends, spend the last pennies in their accounts.

I am very much aware that I am too old for this.  But just like the children, I would like a parcel for Christmas too. I miss the sweets, biscuits and balloons that the Nigerian version of Santa Claus (father Christmas)  gives to the children at those funny, weird and very absurd Christmas shows usually hosted by schools and TV stations. I would also like a Christmas dress and shoes.

Beyond the celebration, 2011 was one year I would find very hard to describe. Summarizing the year would be very hard. All I can say is that it was a year of a lot of gains and losses. Lots and lots of losses I must say. Sometimes when I think about the amount of losses in this year alone, I can only pray and wish that 2012 will better……

In any case, this Christmas I am very happy. I am loving the season, the rice is boiling, mum fried the chicken already, the visitors are falling in.  And I just want to use this medium to wish everyone who has ever read or followed this blog a very merry Christmas and a prosperous 2012. Hoping that 2012 will be much more peaceful, fun and random. See you next year!

Follow @Izzy_Yemi on twitter.

This is Izzy saying DEUCES!!!

Dear future husband

A while ago, the topic #dearfuturehusband was trending on twitter. And from then till now, I have seen all sorts of hilarious tweets, comment, blogs, facebook notes and other stuff on the topic. I have read the silliest pieces and also the most touching letters…… And earlier today, I had this really long and deep conversation with an old friend about marriage and I couldn’t believe the things I was saying.

Bla bla bla! Yeah yeah! I know I am stale and all, I decided to write a letter my own future husband as well *covers face*. Okay, I know I said I’m not sure I believe in marriage in my last post but just in case I don’t have the guts to say no when he goes on his knees……….

Dear future husband,

I first of all want to ask u: ARE YOU MAD? Must I date all these foolish boys before you show up? Be fast and appear joooo!*mscheew!*. Okay don’t be scared my love, I am not always that harsh okay….. I am just in a hurry to meet you. :D 

I want to imagine what you are doing and where you are as I am typing this. I hope you are thinking about me just as I am thinking about you, you are probably writing me a letter as well sef. I am wondering if you are someone I already know. You are probably my boyfriend as we speak, or even just a friend. Maybe we have never even met….. In any case, I hope you are really working hard and saving for me and my twins. Yes, I said it! I only want to have two children preferably twins. So in case, you are the type that likes to have a football team, you can like to start thinking twice o!

Please baby, I’d like a really romantic marriage proposal. But, please I don’t want to see a ring in my food or ice-cream. Will you still marry me if I lose my front tooth from chewing a ring? That style is outdated sef. Please be creative o!

Sweetheart, I am a woman! I love to be pampered and I love ‘life’. I hope I am not demanding for too much when I say I love my cars, my perfumes, my jewelries, my make-up and my gadgets.( I am not ‘high-maintenance’ but gorgeous, sassy and fabulous don’t just happen). So I’m sure you know what kind of things to get for me as birthday gifts. Did I forget to mention to you that you must never forget my birthday or that of our children? I’ll skin you alive if you do.

Please baby, you must not talk as much as I do. You know I talk a lot. A family of four shouldn’t sound like a family of ten from outside. At the same time though, you need to be interesting. This is compulsory. I cannot stand a boring man, be witty and crack me up once in a while. Please get my humour too. I hate explaining my jokes. I am very playful hence, I have a million friends (both male and female) and I love them, I hope you are not one of those men that will not want me to have friends (we go dey fight o!)

I hope you can cope with an extremely forgetful and ‘last-minute’ wife. I am never prepared for anything. But don’t worry I’ll get things done. I hope you love music and I hope you love to dance too. Please we will still go clubbing o! I will still put on those short dresses abeg! I’ll probably curse you if you ever make me wear iro and buba!

I hope you don’t mind, but our children will be very familiar with our parents. They’ll need to stay with them a lot because, I’ll really like my ‘alone times’ with you.  I’ll drive them away at the slightest opportunity to my mother or yours, so that we can have the house to ourselves. Just me and you *side eye*.  I am very adventurous, I have the body to twist and turn, so trust! Your bed is well taken care of #punintended :p lol….

 I know you love your food and yes I know how to cook all the local dishes, however if you love pounded yam, you’ll have to learn to pound. I promise I’ll cook the soup, ahn ahn! Do you want to break your baby’s back? Also, once in a while, you’ll eat indomie as dinner.

I hope you love and fear God as much as I do. And I hope you can support my dreams……..

Lastly honey, I already love you……. Please ask me to marry you! I promise I’ll say yes. Lol…….

Yours,

Izzy.

25 random things about me

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls...... This is really really random. Honestly, I don 't know where it's coming from, I don't know where its heading, I don't know why I'm writing it.... But at least I know that I have decided to talk about myself today. Its just going to be all about me,. To be truthful, I am not really sure that there are up to 25 things to say about me. That's how unprepared I am for this........ I am still hoping I don't get stuck in the middle sha. Let's see how it goes tho' (I will not tell you if I am a virgin or not sha) lol

1. I am very weird and I have the weirdest of thoughts and beliefs.
2. I believe whoever invented schooling should be killed. I hate reading, and I could be very very unserious. But somehow I always pass my exams. Maybe not excellently, but at least I don't fail
3. I am very lazy, I can sleep for Africa.
4. Everything about me is disorganised. I never have a time table for anything. And everything I do is last minute. 
5. I am very friendly and playful. I talk to and become friends with almost anyone that comes my way.
6. I grew up as a tomboy, loved sneakers, big tops, and boyish things. my being a girly girl today is my mum's fault. lol
7. I have a  big fat girl clique now..... 
8. They don't call me Izzy for nothing, I love to enjoy life and I take everything easy. hence Izzy. 
9. I talk a whole lot and I love to be noticed.
10. I love to sing but I don't sing well.
11. I hate the colour yellow
12. I notice, record, process and judge as much as I talk too (if not more) and I am sharper than a lot of people know, I am full of surprises.
13. I used to eat a lot, I was actually called 'dustbin' in my house. I ate everyone's left over 
14. I like indomie a whole lot. I have betrayed my siblings countless times for it. *covers face*. If it could pay my bills, I probably would have married it.
15. I don't like colourful food. Thats why I don't eat salads
16. I love the blackest food on earth a whole lot too AMALA!!!!!! 
17. My favourite body part is my legs, they are thin, long, fair and straight. 
18. I love short skirts, they help me flaunt my legs :D
19. I am very stubborn, I hate being told what to do
20. Once upon a time, I liked fair guys........
21. I am not so sure I believe in marriage just yet
22. I once had a crush on my teacher in secondary school.
23. I am much younger than I look and act
24. Sometimes when no one is watching, I speak to myself, act out a role in front of a mirror, or even do a catwalk.
25. I am a happy and lovely young woman. I love me and I hope u love me 2. 

Dueces,
And  Ouch! 26. This is what I look like. lol

IZZY
follow @Izzy_Yemi on twitter

If I were you...

You are a girl, you're beautiful, intelligent, sexy, attractive, lively, funny, friendly, witty, charming and hardworking. You have a good heart, you love God and you love others. But you don't know what you have. You think low of yourself, you're insecure, you hate your life, and you think it sucks.

If I were you,
I'll look in the mirror every morning and tell myself I'm beautiful. I'll wear a smile all the time and tell myself life is beautiful. Whether I get smile or a frown in return will not matter. Afterall it takes more from me to frown than  to smile. I'll love myself and be happy. Afterall happiness is good food for the soul. I'll channel my energy into positive things and thoughts. I'll do the things that make me happy, I'll be selfless. I'll be a good friend, daughter, sister, neighbour and whatever. In words and in actions, I'll be a lady. I'll be myself and not envy anyone's life. They're probably more screwed than I'll ever know.

I'll never look down on myself or call myself ugly because anyone thinks so. I'll not let friends or enemies dictate the pace of my life. I'll not do anything because anyone is doing it. What if I'm not supposed to? I'll not wear anything because others are wearing it. What if it doesn't suit me? I'll not bear grudges. They'll only add to my weight. I'll not go out of my way to stay stick-thin. I'll not stick my fingers down my throat after my food. What if I fall ill? I'll not wear six-inch high stilletoes when am more comfortable in sneakers. What if I fall? I'll not wear 10 layers of make-up everyday. I don't see the need. I'll not seek attention at all costs. I'll not wear the skimpiest clothes or speak loudly or unnecessarily. It communicates insecurity and low self-esteem. I'll not make out with lots and lots of guys. I don't see what I stand to gain. I'll not have sex for material gains or favours. I'll not sleep with my boss for recommendation. Why don't I do my work and hope he is pleased? I won't sleep with my dad's age mate for a black berry torch or brazillian hair. I'll never be desperate for anything. Or better still, I'll never show my desperation to people. They are likely to take advantage of me. I'll not live by anyone's standards. I have mine!

I'll never ever forget that I'm me. Living like someone else will never take away my problems. It'll only increase them. This is what I'll do if I were you. But I'm not you, I'm me. I don't want to be you. It sucks to be you. I hate your life. I love mine. It sucks to be you. So I just want to be one thing>>>>>> ME!!!! 

Wetin this social networking go cause ehn??!

This is my first time of putting together my silly random thoughts in a blog. Its just usually easier to spill my thoughts in bits and pieces as they come on twitter and get retweets, replies and all, or to just update my status sharp-sharp on facebook. I might as well just upload a really funny video on you-tube. These are really easy and fun too. But I figured this blogging thing is kinda smooth and classy. So it works.

The name is Yemisi by the way. Peeps love to call me Izzy. I am  the regular fun girl as far as I know. The sick thing about me is that nothing about me is ever planned. I am a disorganised person, but somehow I always get things done. I sleep a whole lot also and my siblings never stop teasing me for this. My best friends call me weird. I don't believe them though.

I grew up as an average kid, and in all these years of my childhood and early teenage, there was ,little social networking. Infact, I remember there was a time when it was really cool to own an ordinary e-mail address on yahoo or hot mail. Back then though, we still lived our lives. Maybe its because we weren't exposed to it just yet. the 'as far as you can see' concept applied. You can only understand what you can see. And since we weren't seeing it, we weren't missing it.

Don't get it twisted though, I love social networking. I was mad about facebook when it first started, I never joined HI5 though. I tweet like per second ( I have never landed in tweet jail sha and I dont know how people do). I watch you-tube videos too and I use a blackberry. I love all these things I must say because I believe that they make life easier.

My point however is that back in the pre-networking days, friendships and relationships were more real and peeps were more down to earth. Back in the day for instance, if I needed to holla at a friend (who probably didn't have a mobile phone), I'd have to get up and leave the convinience of house to go to his or hers (now this is just to say hello oh!). Bearing in my mind of course that I may not meet him or her oh! It actually took true love and care to  go through this for a friend.

But in this day of social networking, FB, twitter and all sorts of chatrooms and messengers (especially the BB), its easy to just say a fake hi and get a fake hey in return. This is the era of abbreviations: LOL, BRB, LMAO, GTG, and so on. LOL for instance used to mean 'laughing out loud' (most times the person isn't even smiling sef). These days LOL means "I have nothing else to say." I say LOL, you say LOL and that's it!..... As far as I know,>>>> very empty!!. BRB (be right back) is another frequently told lie. Most peeps just use it to end conversations and they will never be back. People no longer visit on birthdays. Trust me, that your besty only relies on FB to know your birthday. The funiest part of it is that peeps don't even buy birthday cards anymore. They'll just post on your wall: 'HBD darl, LLNP IJN have a blast!' I am like seriously? Warris dat? You are too lazy to type Happy Birthday? The day I found out the meaning of LLNP ehn! I was just pissed off. You want to wish someone long life and prosperity and you alreadt shorten this? How that person wan live long abeg?

Someone tells you thank you and what you say is Uw or Yw? Warris dat? You"re welcome is too long?

BB users are the most annoying: Some one will just wake up one morning and begin to circulate  one useless broadcast: usually one silly rumour or the other oh!

Twitter timelines get all religious on Sundays. Peeps use angel signs on their BB status when they can't even remember when last they prayed oh! Living in a world of technology and networking makes us forget that God doesn't have a twitter handle, neither does he have an FB ID, BB pin or whatever.... peeps abeg try PARK WELL!!!

Okay, before you chop me raw, I know I am guilty of all these offences too and I aint saying networking or technology is bad. Of course, it gives us an identity, no matter where you are the world will find you. Its either you have an FB ID, twitter handle, BB pin, you must just have something. This is a big plus i suppose>>>

What i am saying however is that if Lara (this wonderful lady I met on twitter by the way) can say LOL to a friend in a physical conversation instead of actually laughing, and  I can say hash out loud before saying ok bye to someone: then maybe in the next five years, we will no longer be speaking in sentences , we'll all just be using abbreviations in all our speeches and  automatically understand.... How sick is that? LOL (actually laughing)

Wetin this social networking  go cause ehn????!!
 
follow @Izzy_Yemi on twitter and watch out for more random stuffs
Dueces,

IZZY!!!